Journey

Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand the journey I am on. I keep wanting to have arrived already. I get frustrated with myself that I am not at a certain place, that I have not done something incredible quite yet. That I am still so deeply entrenched in my own shortcomings. As I get older and the path I have journeyed upon gets longer, it gets easier to realize that the people I look up to didn’t get to where they are now quickly.

For example – Victor Ronquillo. One of my spiritual heroes. It was under Vic’s leadership that I grew the most spiritually in high school. He showed me how deep a love with Christ could go. I fell in love with God then… and I realized what it took to maintain that kind of love. The taste of something real was all I needed and I became hooked for life. I am forever in a desperate search for that depth of closeness with my creator. Yet, it has eluded me. I may have stepped beyond the sometimes-God into a somewhat-often-God… but I’m not to the all-the-time-God yet. I haven’t quite wanted it bad enough maybe… at least that’s what I’ve been thinking all this time.

Tonight, however, I breathed deeply of the truth of a journey and let it hang in the air for a moment.
Psalms 38:9 – All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.

He knows. He knows.

Job 25:14 – And these are but the outer fringe of his works, how faint are the whispers we hear of him! Who then can understand the thunder of his power?

The glances I catch of Him—they are but glimpses. I may spend a lifetime learning of this Power, and I will still not know him fully.

I will never arrive… Love shows me this. I will be endlessly falling in love with Him. Every day will be different. Every day will be new and exciting and a chance to know him a little better. It’s not something I can rush—If I run to him, I will miss things. I will miss the quiet lessons revealed to me during the day. I will miss the beauty in the simple things. I will miss the whispers if I only listen to the shouts.

It’s taken me a long time for my heart to understand what it means to live in the moment. But I get it now. I have arrived at this truth. Except… I haven’t. I’m still learning… and maybe that’s the best part about it.

He knows me and I don’t know him… but He is not at the end of this path, He is at every step.


For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. – Ps. 36:9